Kimchi

Gochu (Korean red pepper), cabbage, and the power of fermentation have brought us a meal companion that is more utilized than ketchup in this house! While I wasn’t regularly blessed by the crunchy, tangy, slightly spicy addition to my meals until I started dating Shaina, she was blessed with a Korean mother who has an amazing recipe for homemade Kimchi. In recent years, we have started to learn the process of fermenting, with varied results, and have also grown gochu in the garden in hopes of a fully from-the-farm delicacy, but those darn bugs have outsmarted me when it comes to the essential ingredient - cabbage. I will keep trying, and they will keep eating my efforts in grattitude.

However, today’s writing is not centered on the tastiness of Kimchi, the benefits of fermentation for our bodies, or our future kimchi producing endeavors. Today I’d like to take time to write in memory of our beautiful cat, who passed away this week.

I was lonely here as a newbie to the PNW, and the winters were hard. I needed a cat, and stat. When two kittens taken from a gang of feral cats in Seattle came to us in November 2022, we already had a list of baby names ready. Would our kitties be Whiskey, Pumpkin, Cinnamon, or Kale? Nope! We went for Kimchi and Cardamom (Cardi B for short). These little babies were terrified of us, having lead a human-avoidant life up to the point of being captured, fixed, ears clipped, and driven to our home by friends involved in a cat rescue vet clinic. They told us that we had some “designer” cats based on their beautiful coloring, likely due to being part Siamese and part Tabby. I learned that Kimchi’s white body with orange tipped ears and tail was called flame point.

This flame point was full of fire, that is for sure. He was the bolder one of the two siblings, and I had to enjoy watching them play from a distance, as they were hiding for the first few weeks but would occasionally come out to explore. Kimchi would test his balance and often awkwardly fall from taking on a ledge or jump to challenging. Once their confidence grew and they started to explore more of our home, we learned that Kimchi was, skilled swinging from vines (macrame plant holders), climbing up walls, and opening all doors and even windows, possibly a burglar in his past life. I would be taking a morning pee and kimchi would press his weight against the bathroom door, hoping it wasn’t fully latched (it rarely was) so that he could say good morning. As a Sagittarius myself, he definitely stole my heart. It was hard to not be able to handle them like I have other kittens, but these feral babies needed patience, which made my love for them stronger.

I learned with time that though he presented as a warrior, he was the softie who like to be cuddled before bed. While Cardi still won’t let me hold her, I made strides with Kimchi and even bought a cat harness for him, thinking he might let me put it on him so we could go adventure outside together. Our property is not a very cat hospitable land for unsupervised kitties, with the huge birds of prey, mountain lions, and many toxic plants. Only once did I get to do some outdoor adventuring (without harness) with Kimchi, when Cardi got out (thanks to Kimchi opening doors) and was hiding near the house. I thought hearing Kimchi cry for his sister, which he did all the time as he loved her so much, might lure Cardi towards us. Cardi’s wild misadventures are a story for another post, and we are glad to have her back, though it is so sad to not have her brother to hold her, groom her, and test her patience. We have an additional cat, Tuna, who came to us as a part of the Cardi B’s wild misadventure story, who is trying to fill the role of keeping Cardi company, but these are big shoes to fill.

Kimchi was not yet two years old, and it feels tragic to have him gone just as we were getting into a comfortable groove. A month ago, we realized he was peeing in strange places and thought it had to do with becoming territorial and fighting with Waffles, our Pitbull, for top dog of the house. Then he started licking his nether regions a lot, and one day I found him crying in pain while licking. I took him to the emergency vet, and they sedated him and checked his bladder, which was full of urinary crystals. They diagnosed him with FLUTD, a urinary tract disease which is apparently very common, especially in male cats. We were told to reduce stress (not reduced during the scary vet visit), encourage water consumption (we got a fancy water fountain in addition to a bowl of water) and get prescription urinary food (very expensive but we purchased the recommended brand). This kitty is a problem kitty, but how can I say no to those blue eyes?

Last week, we came home to find Kimchi straining in the litter box, weak and sad. I knew it was probably a blocked bladder (he had vomited the night before). I called around to find an emergency clinic that would accept him, and was told to check a facebook group which posts current ER vets and if they are accepting patients. I had to drive over an hour, but Kimchi was seen and had a catheter placed to drain his bladder and IVs to help flush his kidneys. He stayed two nights, and though they recommended he stay longer, I couldn’t afford it - the cost was already above $2000, plus the $700 visit last month which drained our pet emergency savings account. They stabilized him and I took him home with just some pain meds. He seemed to be doing ok at home, but he was not his normal self. I didn’t know if I should give him more meds or less. Just two days after I brought him home, he passed away.

It’s an awful time, to find a loved one dead. I feel like I let my baby down. I’m grateful, however, for the closure, and being able to pet him while he was still warm in our final embrace. I went to the back orchard and spent over an hour digging until I had a hole big enough for the box he was placed in. I put logs on top of the grave to protect it, along with some moss and flowers. Now I can see his grave from the window where he used to sleep in front of. And just like that, a living thing is being turned into soil. I put his mushroom scratching toy on top of the area I found him gone, reminding me that he will feed the earth, which feeds me.